dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
