gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
