Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need water and some morals
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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