Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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