hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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