I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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