fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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