And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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