Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can't turn off my feet"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
