I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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