I looked at my own cervix.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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