How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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