Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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