i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize