Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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