It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
