is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize