He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My hand turned me down
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
