The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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