ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
