She's JV to your varsity
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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