Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
