Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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