never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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