She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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