I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
