I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
