No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
