I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
