Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
