I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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