Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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