butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
