Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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