there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
