I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
