i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
