ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
