fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
