I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize