At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
