Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize