Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
