It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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