if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
