Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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