Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Farmville is her only friend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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