i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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