let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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