I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
