I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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