:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
