Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
