please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
