i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
