apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
