he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The feeling are messing with the penis
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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