It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
