Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
