awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize