i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
