So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize
