This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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