I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
